About Vika

 

(Click here for a list of some of my clients.)

 

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Vika Miller, MA and CNVC Certification Candidate, is a socially conscious entrepreneur, happiness researcher, business consultant, and relationship coach who’s been reconnecting people to their authentic values and power — and to each other — for more than 30 years.

She’s been integrating Nonviolent Consciousness principles into her work for more than 17 years, has taught NVC to prison inmates at Oregon State Penitentiary and Columbia River Correctional Institution, and now is delighted to include the latest findings in brain science and Interpersonal Neurobiology in her offerings.

She’s proud to be a former Executive Director of the Oregon Prison Project.

Vika’s down-to-earth work creates immediate, dramatic results, and is available through her videos and blogs, interactive seminars and practice groups, relationship coaching, and business development and culture change consulting.

You can connect with Vika in Portland, Oregon and Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota, as well as online via Skype or Zoom Video and webinar, and nationally and internationally by request.

Vika teaches with a delightful mix of warmth, authenticity, compassion, playfulness, passion, and clarity.

 

 

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM VIKA:

Since I was a little girl I’ve had an unshakable, deep sense of what’s possible for our connection with ourselves, with others, and with Life Itself (God, Goddess, Universe, The Force — however you call It). I have always known in my bones that life was meant to be a wonderful, amazing experience, and that we can be, do, and have anything we dream of … so long as we’re willing to ‘do our part.’

But things weren’t going that way, at first.  By the time I was 12 I was in so much pain from the hurt that was flying around my family, I decided to use myself as my own sort of human laboratory. It seemed if I told myself the truth about everything, even the “bad” stuff about me, maybe I’d be able to figure out what was going on, and figure out what ‘my part’ was, that I needed to do in order to be happy.

It felt essential to stay connected to what I loved and valued most, to feel my feelings, and to pay close attention to what I was doing and to what that created. I found that if I looked inside myself for anything I was doing that could be contributing to the things “out there” that didn’t feel good to me, then I wasn’t dependent on what other people did, to be happy. I could be in charge of my own happiness, because I could always find something that I could do differently, that made my life or relationships work better.

On my journey I encountered some great teachers in gems like Notes on Love and Courage (Hugh Prather), The Road Less Traveled (Scott Peck), Further Along the Road Less Traveled (Scott Peck, audiobook), the Course in Miracles, Conversations with God (Neale Donald Walsch), the Coaches Training Institute coach training, Landmark Education, Abraham-Hicks, and Byron Katie.  But it wasn’t until I first encountered Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (NVC) around the year 2000 and learned that my feelings were giving me feedback and guidance about what ‘meets my needs,’ that lightning finally struck. 

I realized that thriving is the only game in town (why else would any living thing do anything?), and that it’s thriving that creates the feeling of happiness.  Feelings pointing to needs … with needs being pathways to thriving … were the missing pieces in my understanding of what real happiness is and how we can reliably, consistently create it.

Because who wants to pursue happiness? We all want to BE genuinely happy, as part of our everyday lifeHappiness — THRIVING — is our birthright.

In 2013, thanks to Sarah Peyton, I was almost literally dumbstruck by the latest brain research findings from Interpersonal Neurobiology (INPB). When these groundbreaking new discoveries are integrated with NVC, we finally understand:

  • why we can’t “do NVC” when we’re upset
  • what “stress” really is, and why it’s so dangerous for our health and relationships (the American Medical Association recognizes “stress” as the #1 cause of disease and death in Americans)
  • what’s going on when we say and do things we genuinely regret (even as we look on in dismay, unable to stop ourselves)
  • why compassionate, authentic, resonant community is essential for our well-being
  • what we can do to finally dissolve the upsets and reactivity that wreak so much havoc on our relationships, health, security, and happiness, and find our way back to calm, peace, and genuine fulfillment

Thanks to the gifts of NVC and Interpersonal Neurobiology, and to the seemingly limitless compassion of one of my earliest and dearest NVC teachers, Joe Mitchell (of Portland, Oregon), in the past 7 to 9 years I’ve learned to have genuine compassion for myself, and have entered into a tender, open relationship with my own shame. Moving into compassionate connection with the most hidden truths of my own ‘warts and farts and ugly parts’ has freed me to begin to live with a quality of transparency and authenticity that have become even more deeply cherished, fiercely lived values for me.

Living this way has created an unprecedented safe space for me where, together with others in this Thriving Life community who share my deep commitment to a life of radical awareness, compassion, and accountability — of (again and again) giving up making ourselves and each other bad and wrong, while owning and tending to what we have created — it finally becomes possible for us to fully meet, acknowledge, and tend to every part of our beautiful, broken, boundless humanity, and rest in the embrace of our own and each other’s open, available hearts.

In the resonant, compassionate space we create together, informed by our best wisdom about how ‘being human’ and relationships actually work, we at last become able to (re)discover what’s most deeply true for us, regain our life-enhancing personal power, and learn how to take dramatically effective, peculiarly effortless actions — actions that actually do meet our needs, create and sustain our abundant thriving, and bring genuine, lasting happiness to our lives and our relationships.

Everything we’ve ever dreamed of really IS possible.

I hope you’ll come share the journey and the joy with me and our Thriving Life community.

Welcome home, and blessings on us all,

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Photo by Monica Miles (www.monicamiles.com)

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