A New View of Valentine’s Day

A New View of Valentine’s Day: The Power of Perspective

When things as they are don’t quite “fit” in a way that supports our thriving, it can often help to redefine them.

Valentine’s Day is one of those suspected Hallmark Holidays (holidays invented to encourage us to buy stuff) that can cause us a lot of pain. If we’re not in an intimate relationship, we can ache from the sense of loneliness and not belonging anywhere. If we’re in an intimate relationship that doesn’t have much openheartedness or authenticity left in it, we can feel even more sadness, loss, confusion, and hurt. Even if we get lots of “Valentines,”  who truly knows and delights in us? Where do we belong — where can we go where All That We Are (including our “warts and farts and ugly parts”) is welcomed and tenderly embraced and celebrated?

Living as we do in a mainstream culture that supports isolation and superficial entertainments rather than meaningful connection and belonging, these are the kinds of anguishing questions that can arise for us on any day. Valentine’s Day can just one of the most difficult.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

It’s possible to claim a cultural event like Valentine’s Day and decide for ourselves what it means. We can use it to celebrate the relationships — whether with family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, or partner — that give us the sense of connection, acceptance, belonging, and being known and welcomed, held and celebrated, that we all long for.

We can also turn it into an opportunity to express our caring, gratitude, and appreciation for the people who make life more wonderful for us: those who accept us as we are; those who consider our well-being; those whose companionship keeps us company on the Journey; those whose very being makes our own hearts and souls sing with delight.

We can also do something even more radical, even life-changing: WE can Be The One who loves, accepts, and cares tenderly for us with sensitivity, attention, and devotion. WE can be The One who notices what nourishes our thriving, and who mindfully takes care to see that we receive it each day.

WE can be The One we’ve been waiting for.  Right now, today, we can be loved the way we’ve always dreamed of … and at the same time create a lovely space of freedom and ease for others to care about and for us without the pressure of our “needing” or “expecting” them to contribute to us.  (And, not coincidentally, when we mindfully love ourselves in this way, it completely transforms what’s possible in our intimate relationships.*)

What comes up for you, when you hear this? We would so enjoy hearing your feelings, needs, thoughts, perspectives, and comments.

Wishing you the blessings of abundant connection and belonging this Valentine’s Week,

Vika
Thriving Life

* Curious to know more? Check out our Thriving Life offerings: the Amazing Relationships Workshop and Thriving LIfe’s *new* Amazing Dating Workshop!

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